Vote.....

Hi boys.. this year was a very important year. My advice to you is to vote every chance you get. Its a right that you have that is soo important in very thing that you do. Granted every person you vote for may not make it , thats ok, Its that you had a chance to make your voice count in a situation. This election showed that any person can make it. that a man with a single mother, whos skin is black , with a brown name can be president of the more powerful country on the planet.... I love you boys... now go vote.

I love you....

I don't think I every say it enough when I say it to you boys. A simple "I love you". I never really heard it from my own dad until I almost died. I really try to tell you boys several times a day. Even when your old and have kids of your own I will continue to tell you that I love you.
When you have kids of your own please please please let them know that you do love them.....

Funerals again

I'm about a week late on this post. I went to a funeral for my best friends father. He was payalized from the neck down for 13 years.... I don't know if I could do that. I thhink I would want to die first. But then I would miss you boys, your lives , mom and everything else.... I don't know. 

     The funeral was long ; full cathloic service with a second presentation to mary.  Keep stuff simple. Cremate me. Take a bunch of photos and go to a pub in Forest Park. Have a few beers with friends and listen to stories about my. I hope that 99% will be good ones..... 

The Pine box....

I'm writing this after Uncle Bobs funeral. Boys , I do not want any thing
fancy for me when I do go. I would like to be wrapped in white linnens and
placed in a plain pine box or carrier. Take all that and cremate me. I
don't need to be spread any where; in fact split me in two and keep me at
your house. If you don't mind. I want to buy a casket now but your mom
thinks I am nuts for even thinking about this.

I'm going to say it once but I could not do it when my own Uncle died. Boys
don't cry for me. Don't waste the tears. I hope you both become better men
than I was. Learn more than I did and be better fathers than I was. That
last part is always the hardest. You never know what lessons you are
teaching at any particular moment.

The one thing I want you both to know now and even after I die is that
-Never ever forget that I loved you both. I say it to you everyday and many
many times each day because my father did not know how to say it. Boys, I
love you.

be silly.

I've been busy with life in general to write to you two, but know that I
have a few minutes here we go. I think an important lesson when having
kids is -- Do not be afraid to be silly. Most parents are tyrants (my self
included) in telling kids NO No No no no... They get too afraid with what
the neighbors will think. When you two were young I
decided I wanted you to have a different childhood than I had. My childhood
was too serious. My sister and I did not play together and I mainly read to
played by my self. Now when I have time with you two I like to go bike
riding, walking,
go to the park and sleep with glow sticks. I like to have an ice cream
cones
or just play a video game. Its OK to go play Simon says and rub your belly
or play red light green light. You too are keeping me young and I want to
say thank you. You will be an adult for a long time, you only stay a kid
for a very short while. Go catch snowflakes on your tounge and build a
snowman, make a leaf pile and jump in.Sing silly songs and watch cartoons.
Go watch fire works. sleep in a tent in the basement, ride on my shoulders
( as long as I cany carry you I will). its OK -

Sick time.

Boys,

             Being sick is never a good thing. Your head hurts, you don't feel good,your stomach is in knots, you have a fever and you have to take care of your kids. As a word of advise; as much as you need your quiet time to get better your kids need their dad. Be there for them. They don't quite get the idea that some one else being ill. Explain and try to help them in their tasks and home work. Just go a little slower. Don't be afraid to ask your kids for help in doing things in the house. They are willing to help more often than you think. Serve them up the same chicken soup that your having, let them watch you take medicine and explain that it is not candy. I think that all helps when they get sick.
Treat you kids like you want to be treated when they are sick. Treat them with compassion. A little Ginger ale and a kiss on the forehead go a long way. Pack the kids on the sofa with blankets and stuffed animals. Let them watch the TV and chill. Remember that a bath will also take care of that sick feeling as well. Let them color and sing. Hold them while they sleep and take their temps while the sleep. In short love them even more.
             If things get squirrelly do not Panic. God I remember when you had the croup and I had never seen it. I read up on it after talking with a doc on the phone. I sat in the bathroom with the shower going full blast to steam up the room. That took care of it after about a half hour. Do not Panic. All that does is stir things up in the kids, spouse and whom ever else is there. 
This all sounds like common sense, but you would be surprised on how many people just do not have it.  Take your sick days when you have them. Don't be a hero and go to work sick. No one wants you there. 

With Love Dad.

Just add fire....

Cooking is an art form. You might be saying .... "Women belong in the kitchen". You would be dead wrong. Any one with a sense of flavor and excitement belongs in the kitchen. Sure you eat for many different reasons. The first one is for sustenance; to keep you alive. The next is to satisfy flavor. Boredom is a bad reason, but I find the biggest reason to cook is to be social.
The meal and cooking its self is a social act. Pack animals eat together. People feel funny when they eat alone. The best meals are meals shared. To break bread with some one is to share your food and home with some one.  I started by learning how to grill over a charcoal flame. The raw mixing of fire and meat and a touch of spice. This was my stepping stone for cooking.  My dad taught me one basic recipe that is a classic and yet can be custom tailored to your taste buds. I love it, my friends love it and all have taken it and made it their own. 

The best place to buy Arrachera is a Mexican market. They will usually have it ready for you to grill or at least know what you want right away. Order about a pound per person that is going to show (half for kids). Have them open it up for you (butterfly). The butcher will also trim off excess fat and run it through the tenderizer machine for you (twice).  From there its up to you; Marinade it in bear, lime juice, orange juice, chipotle sauce, lemon pepper, salt and garlic. Add any or all. The amounts are up to you. So experiment and see what works for you. I try to let it soak for at least 3 hours. Fire up the grill and cook over direct flame.  Its thin so it will cook fairly quickly. Warm some tortillas on the fire and enjoy. I'll tell you it beats your regular burgers and dogs every time.

• Arrachera 3 lbs (skirt steak)
• 1 beer (The cheap stuff works here)
• Juice of three limes
• Garlic power
• 1 can of chipotle sauce
• Course salt and pepper

Drop it all in a plastic bag and let it sit in the fridge for at least 1 hour. Cook and enjoy. If you want you can add lettuce, salsa and what ever floats your boat. Personally I just like salsa and a touch of lime.

I hope that this is your first step in enjoying and making real food. Your friends will love you for it. Sit, laugh, crack open a beer and enjoy. From here it only gets better. The world will melt away as you enjoy a good meal with a friend.

There are many many other foods from other parts of the world. I hope and pray that you get the chance to try them all. From pickled eggs and garlic crab to a prosciutto sandwich and bone soup.  Food is what binds us all together as people.  Eat drink and enjoy.

 

With Love ,

Dad

No thanks needed...

Boys,

Some times its the things that go unthanked that make a big difference in some ones life. Take an extra five minutes and shovel a neighbors walk way, brush the show off some ones car, hold a door for the next person. Some times its just a smile and a "good morning" to a stranger. Its not about paying it forward or anything like that its just about being nice to some one you don't know. Its about being part of the community. Its about being part of something bigger than just you.
Your grandfather told me once "Don't be afraid about give some one the shirt off your back, Just don't let any one take it from you". In my life I think I have changed no less than 4-5 tire for strangers, jumped a few dozen cars, drop a few lit flares for people that "didn't need help",bought a homeless man soup, made a dozen 911 calls to report an accident and once stopped a man from beating his girl friend. Each one I expected nothing. If I got a "Thank You" that was my own treasure. It gave me a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside. Always be wary of what you are doing and weigh the consequence of your actions. Make sure in what ever you are doing you are not being duped. I guess thats my own paranoia talking....
I'm not asking you to run in to a burning building to save a cat. I'm just asking you boys to look out for more than just your selves. Be the stand up guy. A hero does not always need to wear a cape. Only a few men could wear a cape and get away with it; Elvis, Evel Kinevil, James Brown and Libarace. Thats a different story and I promise to tell you about them later.

Love,
Dad.

First letter

Boys,

This is the first letter of many on how to become a man. There are many many lessons on this subject from many many many people. None are 100% right and a few are 100% wrong. I'll do my best to guide you along the best I can. In lessons that I was given and along with things I have learned along the way. Things that my father and uncle have taught me, Things that my mother and aunts have taught me, Things that your mom and girlfriends have taught me,Things that friends have taught me,Things that God has shown me and Things that the world has told me. Again these are just some of many many sources of vital information on becoming a man. Please forgive the writing as you probably already know I am no writer , in truth I'm just an ordinary guy who was blessed to have you two as sons. So I will try my best to give you one of the only things that i have to give you that will not be taxed; a few lessons in life.

With love.
Dad